To Exist is Rare and Beautiful
by ArabellaBlack25
Summary: 'Know that you are a very good person, who would protect her daughter with her life. Know that you would fight through anything to save the one person you truly love. Know that you are not broken by what has happened. You're pure steel, I hope you know that.' AU of my AU where Kassandra Anastas lives. This is her life with her daughter, Arabella Black.


**disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, just everything else you don't recognize. I also do not own the song 'From the Ground Up' by Sleeping at Last. **

**Hello, everyone! This is the AU in which Kassandra Anastas lives. This was supposed to be a one-shot, but I decided to break it up into a couple chapters so that it wouldn't be _too_ long when you're reading it, hope you don't mind. Tell me what you think and whether or not I should continue. **

Part I

* * *

><p><em>One by one the knots we've tied will come undone<em>

_Like picking locks, we'll sow our seeds beneath the sun_

_Our accomplice is the rain,_

_With patience, that of saints_

_It grows and grows,_

_Our home sweet home_

* * *

><p>'We're going to give you one last chance. Where is the Dark Lord?' asked Rabastan Lestrange in a low dangerous voice.<p>

'I don't know. There haven't been any signs of him anywhere. Please, just stop,' said Kassandra, thinking her daughter didn't deserve this kind of pain in her life.

'Enough. I'm getting tired of this. Let's just leave,' said Rodolphus, getting bored with no information being brought out.

'No. Not yet,' said Bellatrix, pointing her wand at Kassandra. 'AVA –'

Suddenly the door burst open and Aurors came into the living room pointing their wands at the four Death Eaters that occupied the room. Leading the charge was Alastor Moody with his wand out.

'Drop your wands now!' he exclaimed, watching the Death Eaters, Kassandra and Arabella on the ground.

The Death Eaters dropped their wands, knowing that they were vastly outnumbered and there was no point of them fighting back when Moody looked as though he was an inch away from killing you because you tortured his number one Auror. They were put into handcuffs immediately.

'You four are under arrest for the torture to insanity of Frank and Alice Longbottom and the torture of Kassandra Anastas and Arabella Black,' said Moody.

'He'll rise again! You wait and see! We are his most loyal servants! We will be welcomed with open arms by the Dark Lord!' screeched Bellatrix, looking at the Aurors with a look of pride on her face for what she had done.

'Take the vermin away. I don't want to see their disgusting faces right now,' said Moody.

After they left the living room, he crouched down next to Kassandra, who had sweat covering her face and looked exhausted. She was shaking and taking in large, deep breaths.

'Anastas,' he said, checking her pulse in her wrist. 'Anastas, can you hear me? We'll get you to St. Mungo's soon.'

If she heard him, she didn't give any sign. The girl, her daughter, was lying on the ground a couple feet away, shaking and crying at the same time. Her arms were bleeding severely. Arabella, she was named after her aunt.

'Get Dumbledore and tell him what happened. Tell him to also come here urgently. Now!' he barked at one of the junior Aurors, who nodded his head as he went to the fireplace.

'Hey, kid,' said Moody. 'Why don't you sit on the couch or something?' He had no idea how to act around three year olds.

The kid just shook her head, still shaking where she was.

'What's your name?' he asked.

'Arabella,' she replied quietly, her fingers making a clawing motion, but not to touching the cuts. Smart kid.

'Well, Arabella, there's a man named Albus Dumbledore that's going to come soon. He'll be able to sort this all out.'

'Moony,' she said in a very small voice. 'I need my Uncle Moony.'

'Remus,' Kassandra gasped out, her eyes moving around rapidly. 'Remus. Where's Remus?'

Just as she said that, two people entered the living room. First was Albus Dumbledore with a grave look on his face. Following him was Remus Lupin with a sad, terrified expression.

'Uncle Moony!' Arabella exclaimed, using strength that only a three year old could have and threw herself onto him, clinging to the parts she could reach.

'Arabella! What happ –' he stopped midsentence after seeing his best friend on the ground and the blood that was accompanying his goddaughter.

'Remus,' Kassandra said, her hand trying to reach out for him. 'Remus, I need you –'

'I got you, Kas, I got you,' he said, crouching down to her. 'I'll take you to St Mungo's. Don't –'

'Cooper!' barked Moody, grabbing one of the junior Aurors towards him. 'Help Lupin take Anastas to St Mungo's. Make sure she gets the best, do you understand me?' he was pointing his wand threateningly (trying to be discrete) at the boy's gut, but he's sure everybody knew what he was doing (except for the kid).

Cooper helped Remus pick Kassandra up, who slumped against Remus, not wanting anybody else to touch her.

'Remus,' she said, barely even a whisper. 'Remus, where's Ara? Her arms… Oh, Remus… they tortured my baby… my baby…'

Tears were slowly making their way down her face and Dumbledore picked up Arabella, who didn't put up much of a fight.

'Remus, we have to go,' he said sharply. 'Now.'

'Dad,' whispered Kassandra, her eyes wondering all over the house. 'Dad… I'm sorry… Ma… I'm sorry… I should have been watching her… She was my sister too…'

Remus nodded towards Dumbledore, swallowing the lump in his throat at the mention of Arabella Torell. He put his other arm under her legs and picked her up. Kassandra was muttering under her breath and sobbing quietly against Remus's shirt.

* * *

><p>Remus was sitting outside Arabella's room in St. Mungo's while she was getting patched up. She kept asking for her mother, and Remus had no idea what to tell her. Your mother's upstairs and she muttering under her breath like a lunatic? That she doesn't know where she is and keeps shaking and asking for her dead parents and her dead sister?<p>

He heard footsteps and a clunking noise coming his way. Dumbledore and Moody were walking towards him and he stood up.

'How is she?' asked Dumbledore, reaching him first.

After arriving at St Mungo's, they switched and Remus took Arabella to see the Healer as she kept screaming and crying and wouldn't calm down, no matter how many times Dumbledore asked her. He took Kassandra up to the fourth floor for spell damage while Arabella was on the first.

'She's getting her cuts healed, there might be some permanent scars since most of them were pretty deep,' said Remus.

'How is she mentally?'

'She's not good. She keeps crying. I tried to calm her down but nothing's working. They made me leave the room so that they can check her properly. I don't know what else to do,' said Remus, as his voice started to crack. 'How's Kas?'

'She's…' Dumbledore began, not sure how to approach this. 'She keeps crying and muttering under her breath. They say there's still hope for her sanity, but it's going to be a long recovery. She's been through a lot today, Remus... She's been asking for Sirius.'

Remus wanted to growl at the name. The traitor that left his family for Voldemort. She should put his name as far away from her mind as possible.

'What's going to happen to those Death Eaters?' Remus asked, scowling at the mention of Sirius.

'Trial in front of the Council. Hopefully put away for life,' replied Moody.

Remus nodded. 'Arabella will stay with me until Kas's healed. I'll take care of her.'

Dumbledore nodded understanding and turned to leave for the Ministry, going to sort out the problems of the day.

'I'll go sit with Anastas,' said Moody, turning to head to the fourth floor.

Soon after, the door opened and the Healer let Remus into the room. The Healer told him that she was sleeping and that they were going to keep her overnight to watch some of the deeper cuts on her arms. Remus nodded and entered the room, seeing Arabella's sleeping form on the bed.

_She looked so innocent. She doesn't deserve this _he thought as he grabbed a chair and pulled it close to her bed. _I'm going to protect you. No one is ever going to hurt you again, _as he stroked her hair with tears in his eyes.

* * *

><p>There was hope for her. That what the Healers told Remus during the months he went to go make sure she was recovering. There was hope for her. She could pull through this, not like Frank or Alice. They were completely gone. Sanity ran from their minds by the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange. Remus tried to visit them, but couldn't go through with it. Not seeing Frank's smiling face or Alice teasing him was something he didn't want to face yet.<p>

Remus waited patiently in the large, dull beige room with three metal tables. He looked around to see an elder Healer in the corner, writing in some sort of records book. The scratching of quill against parchment was the only sound in the room, but then the doors to the room opened and in walked in Kassandra and a Healer escorting her.

Remus stood up immediately at her sight. She lost a lot of weight in the past couple of months. Her cheeks were hollow, her hair was oily and seemed to be thinning, and her once bright brown eyes were now dully and empty. She sat down across from Remus and gave him a feebly smile that didn't brighten up her face.

'How are you?' Remus asked her.

'Fine,' she said quietly. 'Healers said I'm getting better. Stopped shaking a while ago. Stopped talking to myself as well. How is she?'

'She's getting there,' said Remus, nodding his head. 'She's stopped yelling at me a while ago, but her nightmares are still there.'

Kassandra nodded. 'What about the case?'

Remus winced at the mention. 'Walburga's still trying to get the date moved forward, but it's pretty set in two months' time. Narcissa Malfoy is now thrown into the mix. They're both stating that you're an unfit parent.'

'They both want custody of the only thing that's keeping me sane,' whispered Kassandra.

For a brief moment, Remus saw a flicker of fire in Kassandra's eyes. It was a flicker of her old self.

'Two months' time, right?' Kassandra asked.

'Yeah.'

'I can do that.'

* * *

><p>Lucius Malfoy knew how to talk, that's for sure.<p>

'A child like young Miss Black should be with a loving caring family that can provide her with financial stability and love. My wife, Narcissa, can provide Miss Black with as much love and warmth she does with my son, Draco. Not only will Miss Black have love from me and Narcissa, but also a brother's love. Do we all believe Kassandra Anastas could provide that for Miss Black? Tortured and so unstable? I know that with us, Miss Black's dreams and wishes can be fulfilled, just like how we provided for the Department of Potions and Plant Diseases at St. Mungo's when they were running low on supplies –'

'Enough,' said Dumbledore, standing up.

Everyone turned towards him. He stood up straight, nose flared, eyes burning with cold fury – there stood the man Voldemort was afraid of. There was the living proof.

Remus was very thankful for Dumbledore interrupting. He was getting tired of watching Lucius Malfoy talk. He was tired of Lucius Malfoy in general, actually. Walburga Black and Narcissa Malfoy seemed to be one of the only people, besides the committee, who nodded along and was listening to him with interest. Glancing over at Andromeda, he could tell that she wanted to jump over to them and wring their necks.

In the center of the room stood a single high chair containing a very frightful, young child. Arabella hugged her knees to her chest and started at everyone with wide and scared grey eyes. Remus didn't want to bring her, not one bit, but the Ministry practically ordered him to do so. Cold heartless bastards. They wanted a child to see all of this, to go through all of this. He resisted the urge many times to go to her and hug her, to protect her from all the vultures.

Then the door to the courtroom opened and everybody turned towards it. In walked Alastor Moody, who was supporting a very weak looking Kassandra. She was clutching onto his arm. She seemed to have aged years with dark circles on her eyes and looking slightly faint.

Walburga Black's eyes widened, certainly not expecting this. Lucius Malfoy froze while Narcissa looked defeated. Dumbledore walked around his seat and conjured up another seat next to Arabella's. He helped her into it and she gave him a smile of gratitude.

Kassandra looked relieved to be sitting, as though she had just made the walk of her life, and then scanned the courtroom. She smiled at Arabella, who was staring at her in wonderment. She then turned towards the council and gave them an even bigger smile, though anybody could see there was no warmth in them.

'Well, I believe this is what you call 'just in the nick of time',' she said.

'Miss Anastas,' said Fudge, peering down at her in shock, 'what on Earth are you doing here?'

Kassandra raised her eyebrows. 'Well, fighting for my daughter, of course. Did you really think I wasn't going to fight for my own flesh and blood? For the child I carried for months? For the child I held after the Healers gave her to me? I was the first one to hold her. I held her when she laughed and when she cried. I am not going to stay in bed during this time. _Sir_.'

'That was not what I meant, Ms Anastas,' said Fudge, looking offended and a tad bit angry.

'Yes, well, I think you should throw this case away, Sir,' said Kassandra, smiling at him coyly.

There was a small smile blooming on Remus's face. There was the old Kassandra right there.

'There is obviously no point whatsoever. We're clearly wasting a lot of precious time considering you still haven't had Bellatrix Lestrange's trial yet, and I would like to be present for that, if you don't mind. I'd like to see her face one more time before she's locked up in Azkaban for good.'

Kassandra then turned towards Walburga and the Malfoy's, who looked at her as though she had risen from the dead. Kassandra threw then a dirty look.

'Oh, and I have this as well,' said Kassandra, reaching into her pocket and taking out a small scroll of parchment. 'This is from Healer Den.'

One of the junior assistants got the scroll from Kassandra and passed it over to Fudge, who looked at it before giving it to Amelia Bones.

'She's right, Sir,' said Amelia Bones from Fudge's right. 'There is clearly no point in this case since the mother is clearly alive and sane in the matter. Healer Den has stated that she is of no harm to herself or her daughter.'

'We'll take it to a vote,' said Fudge. 'I will now ask the jury to raise their hands if they believe that Arabella Black should be in the custody of the Malfoys.'

Remus counted. Five people raised their hands, two of them trembling and one shot their hand straight up with a smug look on their face.

'And if you believe that Arabella Black should remain with her mother.'

Everybody else raised their hand confidently. In the middle of the court room, Arabella raised her hand as well. Remus couldn't help but smile at her.

'I hereby close this case. Arabella Black will remain in her mother's custody. You may all leave now.'

Walburga was clearly not happy and had no problem making sure everybody heard her. The Malfoys left the room quickly, looking embarrassed, and someone called for Aurors to escort Walburga away.

Remus quickly got out of his seat, trying to get past the stream of people making their way out of the courtroom. Once he got passed those people, he was face to face with the image of Kassandra kneeling on the floor, hugging Arabella and kissing the side of her head.

Kassandra then looked up at Remus and Andromeda, giving them a grateful smile. She stood up and carried Arabella in her arms.

'Anyone up for a burger?'

* * *

><p>There was a small diner a few blocks from the entrance to the Ministry. It was run by a family that, as they advertised, made the greatest burgers in town. Remus sat down beside Andromeda, across from Kassandra and Arabella. He looked at the table. Out of the six plates, he only had claim to one. A small sandwich. Andromeda got a chicken salad while Arabella got a small cheeseburger.<p>

Kassandra ordered a double cheeseburger with bacon, a large plate of fries, a chicken breast, and a chocolate milkshake. She was chewing down everything with ketchup on her cheeks and mustard on her fingers.

* * *

><p>Kassandra sat beside Andromeda, whose eyes were emotionless ad fixed on the chair in the middle of the room. There was total silence in the dungeon, broken only by the dry sobs of Crouch's wife. Kassandra has been waiting for this day for weeks.<p>

She braced herself when Crouch said, 'Bring them in.'

The door to the dungeon opened. Six Dementors entered, bringing in a group of four people. There men were chained to the floor while the woman was chained to the chair.

Bellatrix Lestrange was sitting in the chair as though it was some sort of throne. She was proud. Her face didn't show any emotion, but her posture and her demeanor was enough to go on. Rodolphus Lestrange was looking blankly up at Crouch as Rabastan was more nervous, his eyes darting around the room. He looked at Kassandra briefly before darting his eyes away. Barty Crouch Jr. was looking petrified.

Barty Crouch Sr. then stood up. He looked down at the four of the prisoners with pure hatred.

'You have been brought here before the Council of Magical Law,' he said clearly, 'so that we may pass judgement on you, for a crime so heinous –'

'Father,' said Crouch Jr. 'Father… please…'

' – that we have rarely heard the likes of it within this court,' said Crouch, speaking more loudly, drowning out his son's voice. 'We have heard the evidence against you. The four of you stand accused of capturing Auror Frank Longbottom, subjecting him and his wife, Alice Longbottom, to the Cruciatus Curse when they would not give you information on the whereabouts of your exiled master, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named –'

'Father, I didn't!' shrieked Crouch Jr. in chains below. 'I didn't, I swear it! Father, don't send me back to the Dementors –'

'You are further accused,' bellowed Crouch, 'of using the Cruciatus Curse on Auror Kassandra Anastas when she as well did not give up any information, as well as her daughter, Arabella Black, using the Cruciatus Curse and a knife to further torture the girl in front of her mother. You planned to restore He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to power, and to resume the life of violence you presumably led while he was strong. I now ask the jury –'

'Mother!' screamed Crouch Jr. below, and the witch beside Crouch began to sob, rocking back and forth. 'Mother, stop him. Mother, I didn't do it, it wasn't me!'

'I now ask the jury,' shouted Crouch, 'to raise their hands if they believe, as I do, that these crimes deserve a life sentence in Azkaban!'

Together, the witches and wizards along the right side of the dungeon raised their hands. The crowd around the walls began to clap. Crouch Jr. began to scream.

'No! Mother, no! I didn't do it, I didn't do it, I didn't know! Don't send me there, don't let him!'

The Dementors were back in the room. Bellatrix got up from her throne quietly. She looked around the room with a haughty expression and when her eyes found Kassandra's, she smirked and blew her a kiss.

'The Dark Lord will rise again, Anastas!' She looked towards Crouch. 'Throw us in Azkaban! We will wait! He will rise again and will come for us, he will reward us beyond any of his other supporters! We alone were faithful! We alone tried to find him!'

But Crouch Jr. was trying to fight off the Dementors, even though they were draining his energy. The crowd was jeering, some of them on their feet, as Bellatrix swept out of the dungeon.

'I am your son!' Crouch Jr. screamed at his father. 'I am your son!'

'You are no son of mine!' bellowed Crouch, his eyes bulging suddenly. 'I have no son!'

The witch beside him gave a great gasp and slumped in her seat. She had fainted. Couch appeared not to have noticed.

'Take then away!' Crouch roared at the Dementors, spit flying from his mouth. 'Take then away, and may they rot there!'

'Father! Father, I wasn't involved! No! No! Father, please!'

* * *

><p>Remus entered the cemetery, already knowing where he was going. Within a few short minutes, he was face to face with a worn-out Kassandra, cigarette in one hand and twirling something small in the other. She was sitting on top of Hekabe's tombstone, right in between Isaak's and Arabella's. He legs were on either side of the tombstone, stretched out in her jeans and she could touch the other tombstones with the tips of her feet.<p>

'I thought you quit,' said Remus, looking at the cigarette. Nasty habit she developed during her later years at Hogwarts. She said she stopped when she became pregnant with Arabella.

'I thought you weren't my mother,' Kassandra snapped.

Remus chose to ignore her tone of voice for the sake of their friendship and so that he could get on with this day.

'How was it?' he asked.

Kassandra drew a long drag as smoke clouded her face for a moment.

'I didn't want them arrested,' she said in a low voice. 'I didn't want a trial for them. They didn't deserve it. I want them all dead, and I wanted it to be slow and painful, just like the way they almost killed my child. I wanted to grab kitchen knives and make sure they bleed out. I wanted to torture them just like they did with Alice and Frank.'

Remus winced at the images. 'That's a natural reaction. The desire for revenge is natural, and you already know that. They're in Azkaban and they're in there for life.'

'But Arabella,' she whispered. 'She keeps having nightmares, Remus. She keeps waking up and screaming and her cuts... they just…'

'Keep opening, I know,' said Remus.

'I don't know what to do,' she said softly. 'Everything's so… fucked up just like how it used to be. It's supposed to be a time of peace and happiness. Then shit like this happens… I saw them, Frank and Alice, while I was at St. Mungo's. It's not right. Their boy, Neville, they will never get to know him. He'll never get to know how great his parents are or how smart Frank was or how Alice just knew when to cheer people up…'

'Then fix it,' said Remus. 'You can do that, you know you can. You work for Mad-Eye Moody. When things are messed up, you fix it. He's offered you your old job back. Take it, and fix everything. You're an Auror, Kas. Start acting like one.'

* * *

><p>Kassandra and Arabella moved out of the house and into another one on the other side of Godric's Hollow. Kassandra still wanted to stay in the same village, just not the same house. The house was pretty much the same, but a bit bigger.<p>

Remus stayed with them for a couple months, making sure that his best friend and his goddaughter were both fine. The guest room became his room, but he often found Arabella sneaking in and Kassandra occasionally.

* * *

><p>Kassandra twirls her wedding ring around her fingers. She sometimes wonders what would have happened if Sirius didn't go to Azkaban, if he didn't betray Lily and James. She wonders what it would be like if he was right there with her, helping her, supporting her and Arabella.<p>

But she tries her best not to think of such things. She tries her best with the life she's leading right now. She doesn't have time to dwell on dreams when she's needed by her daughter. She can do this. She prays and tries her best.

* * *

><p>She sometimes can't sleep at night. She sits by the window in her room, looking out and waiting. She waits for disaster to come through and destroy everything again. She waits for someone to break the door down, to take Arabella, to hurt her, to attack or kill her.<p>

She waits for someone to take Arabella away, or to take Remus away. She waits for someone to tell her that Bellatrix Lestrange did the inevitable and broke out of Azkaban, on the run to finish what she had started.

Nothing happens after a while, but she still can't breathe properly even when she hears a small crack or a squeak. She jumps and her heart races wildly.

Remus calms her down. She feels safe with him. She curls up on his side and clutches his shirt. She breaths in his scent. He smells of the woods and sometimes hot chocolate. This gives her comfort and she breaths easily with him around.

* * *

><p>'You have to get up,' said Remus, looking down at her.<p>

'Not yet,' said Kassandra, snuggling closer to him.

'It's your first day back at work,' said Remus, the tips of his fingers gently moving up and down her arm.

'I don't want to get up, Moony,' Kassandra said, moving her head so that it was pressed against his neck.

Remus closed his eyes for a moment. It's been a while since anything between him and a woman happened. He certainly didn't think of Kassandra in such a way, but he couldn't help but react to her. He moved his body so that he was lying on his hip and with both hands around her waist. She moved closer, eyes still closed, and her lips were pressed against his jaw. She then opened her eyes and looked at him.

Slowly, very slowly he may add, her lips moved against his skin and pressed against his. It wasn't earth shattering or breathing taking. It was quite ordinary. Just a normal chaste kiss. Her lips were dry and he knew his lips were cracked.

He then pulled away, but their lips were still close together. 'We can't.'

'We can,' she whispered.

She kissed him again with more force, her body pushed against his, her hands on his jaw. He reciprocated. One hand in her hair, another on her hips, and if he closed his eyes, it almost seemed right.

'Ma!' Arabella cried from the kitchen. 'MA!'

They broke the kiss instantly at her voice. Kassandra's cheeks turned crimson and she quickly sits up, putting her head in her hands.

'I'll get her some breakfast,' she said very quietly as she got up from the bed and walked out of the door without turning to look at him.

* * *

><p>She misses Sirius in a way she hasn't for in a long time. She tries her best not to think about him. But when she looks at Arabella, her daughter that pushes her food around in her plate with a frown on her face, Kassandra can't help but remember how much she looks like Sirius at that moment. The have the same eyes, the same frown, and the same need for space whenever disaster hits them.<p>

Then there are times when Arabella is messy and mischievous and tries to hide whenever she needs to take a bath. And when she laughs, Kassandra always looks over her shoulder to make sure it isn't Sirius, because, _my god_, they have the same laugh and she aches for her old life.

But things happen for a reason. They happened the way they were supposed to, or so Remus tells her.

'You know how much stronger you are because of what happened,' he tells her. 'You are stronger for yourself and for Arabella. Your love has strengthened. You saved yourself and your daughter. Everything happens for a reason, and you have found strength in that. Know that you are a very good person, who would protect her daughter with her life. Know that you would fight through anything to save the one person you truly love. Know that you are not broken by what has happened. You're pure steel, I hope you know that.'

Kassandra clings onto Remus's words and it makes things easier. Especially that kiss.

* * *

><p>Something changes between them, but it doesn't at the same time. Remus still lives with them. He can never seem to part with them for more than a few short hours and Arabella constantly wonders where he is. He worries about the dreams and the nightmares and whether or not they are okay.<p>

He learns to slowly become more calm, but he doesn't want to lose either one of them. He's afraid that something is going to happen to them and they're going to be gone from his life permanently. They are the only family he has left.

So when Kassandra comes back all proud after closing her first case since her return, he knows that things are very different now. Remus places his hand on her cheeks, waiting for her to move away from him. When she doesn't, he kisses her and she drops the file she was holding and wraps her arms around his neck.

It doesn't take long for them to become physical in their newfound relationship. He already knows everything about her and she knows all the details about his life. He knows what makes her tick and what makes her cry and what brightens up her day. She, in turn, knows what to do after a full moon and what he likes to read and what makes him laugh (not a giggle, but a belly shaking, ground stomping laugh).

* * *

><p>Remus is the kind of man you take home to meet your parents. Kassandra snorted. That's exactly what happened. She brought him over to meet her mother and stepfather. She was the first one to bring him over, not her sister. He is kind and gentle and she loves him.<p>

Kassandra doesn't know how much she loves him, but she does, truly does. She loves him when he wakes up first and makes her coffee (two teaspoons of sugar and just a little bit of milk). She loves him when he sits down and listens to Arabella's nightmares (the reoccurring ones and the new ones that pop up). She loves him when he smiles as Arabella redirects her pain towards Quidditch and picks a team that neither one of them likes (she's a diehard Harpie while he will always be devoted to the Bats). She loves him during a full moon when all she wants to do is hug him and she loves him after a full moon when she tends to his injuries.

She loves him even after she finds out she's pregnant and he disappears for days. She loves him even when she wishes this wasn't his baby, but Sirius's. She loves Remus Lupin, but she wishes it was Sirius's because she can't image a baby with grey eyes or shining black hair.

In her dreams, Sirius is with her because as much as she loves Remus, Kassandra is still _in _love with Sirius Black and that still hasn't changed. Though there's a part of her that wishes she could hate Sirius Black as much as the rest of the wizarding world hates him.

* * *

><p>'So, I'm getting a sister?' Arabella asked. Her face was scrunched up in confusion.<p>

'Or a brother,' said Kassandra softly. 'I don't know yet, Ara.'

Arabella nodded, but still confused. 'Are you and Moony getting married?'

'No,' said Kassandra, shaking her head. She can't image being married to anybody else besides Sirius Black.

'Where is Moony?'

'I don't know,' said Kassandra. 'I don't know where he is, but I'm sure he'll be back soon.'

'Oh, okay,' said Arabella, frowning. After a few minutes, she said, 'I hope it's a girl.'

Kassandra smiled. 'Yeah?'

'Yeah,' said Arabella, nodding her head keenly. 'Girls are more fun.'

Kassandra agreed. 'They are.'

Whether or not Remus comes back, she knows she'll be fine without him. She can raise Arabella and the new baby without him.

* * *

><p>'Sit down, Lupin,' said Mad-Eye Moody, kicking a chair for him to take a seat in.<p>

Remus sat down quietly in Mad-Eye's house, shaking a bit and wondering what to do next. Stay or flight. Kas or no Kas. Raise a child or be alone again.

'What's the problem?' Mad-Eye asked him.

In all honesty, Mad-Eye was the last person he would go to with this problem, but he was really desperate to talk to someone about it.

'I – I never should have been with her,' he said in a hushed tone. 'It was – it was a mistake and I've regretted it ever since. I don't know what to do now. The baby will be exactly like me, I'm sure of it. How – how can I live when I know I have passed on my condition to an innocent child? I never should I persuaded this – _this _relationship! I have made her an outcast!'

Mad-Eye's lips curled. He was disgusted with Remus. His hands were itching towards his wand. His hands were itching towards anything that could cause Remus potential harm. Mad-Eye then settled for the calmer approach.

'She's already an outcast, Lupin,' he said gravely. 'No one wants to work with her in the Department. They call her a ticking time bomb waiting to explode at any second. They call her daughter a freak and they call your relationship with her disgusting. If you leave her, you're only proving them right. Go back and apologize for the way you've acted. Go back on your hands and knees and apologize. Beg for forgiveness and a second chance. Believe you me, you need them as much as they need you. They keep you sane as much as you keep them sane. And if you ever think of leaving her in that condition, remember that I promised her father that I would look out for her, and I will hurt you if you hurt her. But I'll have to beat her to it.'

* * *

><p>Arabella was bouncing up and down on the couch, ecstatic beyond reason. Kassandra watched her fondly, rubbing her already protruding belly. Kassandra was happy for a different reason then Arabella's. Arabella was happy that it was a girl, Kassandra was happy to hear that she was beating the odds.<p>

They told her that given her history, it wouldn't last the first month, but here she was, belly swollen. The Healers told her that Remus's genes were the ones keeping her alive. It fought against her broken body. It was helping her fight. Her baby was fighting to survive. She was fighting to be brought into the world. She was fighting to see her sister and her mother and her father… wherever he was. Her daughter was fighting.

* * *

><p>He doesn't deserve a family. The wizarding world has confirmed that in his mind. He doesn't deserve a child. People jeer at the thought of him passing his genes onto a baby when they learn of him being what he is. He's not worth it. He knows he's not.<p>

But then he talks to Dumbledore after Mad-Eye and he makes up his mind.

'You are a man of integrity and honour, Remus,' said Dumbledore. 'You are compassionate, intelligent, brave, and kind. You see the good in people and you have a sense of humour, just like James. You are perceptive and protective, if not, you wouldn't have taken Arabella in when Kassandra was at St. Mungo's. What child wouldn't want to call you their father?'

Dumbledore paused as Remus blinked at him. The portraits around them weren't pretending to sleep anymore.

'Would you ever forgive yourself if you left all of them? Could you live with yourself like that, Remus? Because I don't think you can. I think you need them more than they need you. You can't survive without them.'

* * *

><p>Remus stumbles back into the house in the dead of the night. It's been weeks since he found out the news, weeks since he's talked to Moody and Dumbledore and considered their words. It's been weeks and he knows what to do: Be there. He can't leave them, neither one of them. He can't leave Arabella or Kas or the baby. He can't leave them and run off. As much as he doesn't want the baby to grow up with a father like him, he can't just disappear. He swallows his pride (what's left of it) and enters the house.<p>

Kassandra is already there, her head bent over various books and files. She sits cross legged on the floor, her belly on her legs and her eyes scanning each page very quickly. The moment he enters, she looks up and watches him for a moment.

'Hey,' she said quietly.

'Hello,' said Remus.

Awkward silence falls between them. He doesn't know how to express the sorrow he was feeling or how much he wants to take it all back.

But then Kassandra looks through her papers and pulls a folded piece out and her hand reaches out towards him, paper in between the gaps of her fingers.

'Take it,' she says quietly. 'You'll want to see it.'

Remus pursed his lips together for a moment before walking forward and taking the paper. He sits on the couch and unfolds it. A small photograph falls out. He picks it up immediately and looks at the black and white picture. He doesn't really see it, but he looks at the paper and it's there. The thing he had been dreading, it was laid out in front of him.

_GENDER: FEMALE, ONE _

_STATUS: ALIVE, HUMAN_

'So…' began Remus, his voice dry. 'So, it's fine? It's not a...'

'It's not a werewolf, Remus,' said Kassandra. 'I know you're worried about passing you condition to a child, Moody told me. I know you're terrified of it, but a part of your gene is keeping the baby alive. With my wounded body and your genes, the baby is fighting because of you. You're giving the baby hope.'

'Hope,' whispered Remus into the night. 'Hope…'

Kassandra then cleared her throat. 'But I do thing we have to talk about this relationship. I do love you, Remus, you know I do, but –'

'You're not in love with me, I know,' said Remus, cutting her off. 'I know, Kas. I love you too, but not in that way.'

'Okay, good,' said Kassandra, sighing.

* * *

><p>Months go by and they return to their old routine. Arabella is happy to see Remus back in the house and won't stop talking about the new baby and all the things they are going to do together when it can walk.<p>

Kassandra imagines all the things that she and her sister did as children. Play at the park, throw dirt at each other, bake cookies with Hekabe… These are the things that kept her sane when she went into labour in the morning of a rainy day.

Despite the greyness of the outside, St. Mungo's was brightened. Her daughter practically slips out without any problem or complication and when Kassandra hears the small scream, she slumps against the chair. When she is placed into her mother's arms, Kassandra hasn't felt this happy in a long time. Bellatrix Lestrange nearly destroyed her, but her new daughter is looking up at her with hazel eyes and somehow that seems to make things better. It's incredible how by one look, babies can heal a broken heart.

'What's her name, Mummy?' Arabella asked.

Four years old, she still has nightmares and still hasn't gotten over the horrors of her life. But she is like her mother and she pushes forward the only way a four year old could. She throws herself into other things, like her mother, and pretends that her problems don't exist, like her mother. Remus doesn't approve of it, but he can't stand to sit her down and lay everything out in the open. He doesn't have the heart to do so.

'Well, Remus, what is her name?' Kassandra asks, looking up at him.

She is fortunate to have a child with her best friend. He is a good person to her, to Arabella, and now, to the new baby. She may not love him and he may not love her (not like that anyway), but she is fortunate to have him in her life, in Arabella's life. He will be a great father; he already has enough practice with Arabella.

Remus smiled at her and gently laid his hand on Arabella's head, his eyes on his own daughter.

'Hope,' he says. 'Hope Korina Lupin sounds nice.'

Hope Korina, a promise to the future and a promise for brighter days. A promise of laughs and smiles. A promise of strength and stability. Kassandra's daughter is a promise to her that things are going to get better.

* * *

><p>Arabella is ever the doting sister. She stands on her tip-toes, looking over the crib and whispering to her sister how much fun they will have when she gets bigger. She showers Hope with kisses and holds her hand when she begins to walk.<p>

Remus is hesitant, just like he always is. He's scared to hold her at first, fearing that he will break her, but once he gets the hang of it, he never wants to let go. He carries Hope everywhere, showing her off to strangers that smile at a new father's proudness.

Kassandra loves Hope with all her heart. She never thought she could love anything as much as she loves her children. Her children give her a new found sense of happiness she never thought she would ever feel again.

But there are days when she looks into the garden and sees Arabella chasing a wobbly-legged Hope. Their high-pitched laughs reach her ears and there is a small, but sharp pain in Kassandra's heart. Arabella and Hope remind her so much of herself and her sister. Their looks, save for their eyes, are exactly like hers and her sister.

Arabella and Hope are Kassandra and Arabella reborn. Each born from different fathers but same mothers. Arabella already reminds her so much of herself, while Hope is exactly like her sister, ecstatically happy and oblivious to the world

So, naturally, Kassandra is worried that she has become Hekabe, and that they're all destined to make the same mistakes as they did in the past. She doesn't want Arabella to turn out like her, hating the world and pursuing revenge. She doesn't want Hope to turn out like Arabella, her sweet sister dead before her time. And she doesn't want to turn into Hekabe. She doesn't want to turn into her mother. She doesn't want to turn into her, making the same mistakes, because Kassandra's sure that if she does, her girls will follow in her footsteps.

Kassandra will not make the same mistakes as Hekabe. Arabella and Hope will not make the same mistakes as her. She's going to be sure of that.

* * *

><p>Kassandra tries dating, though none of her dates last very long. They're very nice, but Remus is uncharacteristically snappish. Hope runs them out by trying to act as though she's possessed by the Devil himself. Arabella smirks in the corner, satisfied at her handy work.<p>

Kassandra knows to blame Arabella for Remus and Hope's behaviour.

But she still wears her wedding ring in a silver chain around her neck. It's always tucked in her shirt. She doesn't let anybody see it.

She's married. Her husband is in jail. She has a complicated relationship with her best friend as they share a child and she's not ready and she has no idea when she's going to be ready. So she breaks off very date she ever has and goes on being a mother because that's the most important role and relationship she has.

She doesn't really have much time for romance in her life, anyway. Her days are filled with work and her daughters.

Arabella is part of the local junior Quidditch league while Hope is slowly following her footsteps. She bakes cookies for the team while reminding Remus to but extra juice for everyone. She makes sure Arabella is getting along with her teammates and makes sure Hope isn't too attached to the rabbit she found in their backyard because they can't afford another mouth.

Work is filled with bring justice and she can't stop even with Scott Briansk wants to take her out for coffee or when Shane Showiest asks her out to dinner. She works closely with Kingsley Shacklebolt and she tires her best to just focus on her work because sometimes, just sometimes, the loneliness is excruciating and all she has to hug is her extra pillow.

* * *

><p>Arabella gets into a fight with someone on the team. Beatrice has the audacity to hit her daughter and Arabella hits back, to Kassandra's horror. The both end up with black eyes and Beatrice looks worse off than Arabella.<p>

'_Control_ you daughter,' Beatrice's mother hissed towards Kassandra, while trying to shield Beatrice from Arabella.

Arabella gives Beatrice a dark look and the young girl hides behind her mother's legs. Beatrice and her mother walk away and Kassandra is left standing there with the coach.

'What happened?' ask Kassandra asks Arabella.

Arabella just shrugs and looks away, picking the corner of her lip that was red with some blood.

'The girls were having an argument about her father,' the coach explained to her. 'Arabella is not off the team, but she'll be benched for the rest of the season and I think you should have a talk with her. I understand it's a difficult subject and I won't hold it against neither one of you.'

Kassandra smiles kindly at the coach and she gathers up Arabella's equipment and heads to her car. Arabella is quiet on the way back to the house and Kassandra is as well. She wonders just how much Arabella knows and just how much pain she is in knowing that Sirius, her father, is in jail.

Without a second thought, Kassandra changes course and she's on her way towards the closest diner. She orders two chocolate milkshakes and stares at Arabella, waiting for her to meet her gaze. She stares at the black eye and the split lip and wishes Arabella would meet her eyes.

But she picks at the napkins. Tearing them into halves, then quarters, eights, and until they are in a pile in front of them.

The waitress brings them the milkshakes and Arabella finally looks up, accidently looking at Kassandra.

'Ara, I need to know what happened during practice.'

Arabella grinds her jaw and stares at the straw. Her gazed if fixated and she won't dare to look up at Kassandra.

'Beatrice said that I was a loser,' Arabella said quietly. 'That I had no father because he didn't want me. She said that he was a crazy maniac and that I'm going to turn into him and blow up the whole team. She told me that her father told her this and I said that her father was pathetic and stupid and she hit me and I hit back.'

Kassandra grips the cup tighter with each word.

'Arabella, there are always going to be people that are going to say mean things to you –'

'I don't want to talk about it,' snapped Arabella, tears in her eyes. She then stood up, drink untouched. 'I don't want to talk about Beatrice or her mother or her _stupid_ father. I don't want to talk about _him_ or go home and have Remus talk to me about it. I don't want to talk about how my _father _is in jail while Hope's is at our house right now or how _he_ made a decision to not be there for us… for me.'

Arabella took a deep breath and whoever was in the diner was now staring at her. She walked out of there quickly, slamming the door behind her.

'Kids,' scoffed the man at the booth beside hers.

'Shut up,' Kassandra snapped at him. She put some money down on the table, gave the man a dark look and followed Arabella out of the diner. She found her at the car, sitting on the ground next to the back tire. Kassandra sighed and sat beside her. Arabella was staring at the other car and Kassandra followed suit.

'There are always going to be people that are going to say mean things to you,' said Kassandra, starting over again. 'They're going to say hurtful things, mean things, but you have to ignore them. You have to be the bigger person, even if you want to hurt them back and make them feel the same pain you do.'

'Whatever,' mumbled Arabella. 'I don't care anyways.'

Kassandra looked at Arabella. 'You do care. If you didn't, you wouldn't have yelled at me in the diner or try to hide the fact that you're crying. You care a lot. It's eating away at you and you're lying to yourself to get through this, but it's not working, now, is it?'

Arabella didn't say anything. She just bit her lips and looked away, glancing at the other cars.

'Does it hurt that Hope's father and yours are not the same person?' Kassandra asks.

Arabella shrugged. 'Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.'

'How?' The question slipped out and Kassandra wanted to take it back. She didn't want to know how much it hurt her Arabella to see Remus and Hope.

'He sings to her sometimes,' Arabella said quietly. 'And he reads to her at night. She looks a little like him. She has his eyes and all I see in the mirror is _him_. It's just a reminder of how different me and Hope are. She has Remus as a father while I have… _Sirius_.'

'Do you hate him?' Kassandra asked.

Arabella opened her mouth, but closed it quickly. 'I don't know,' she gritted out. Her jaw was clenched. 'I don't know if I hate him. I just hate how he killed all those people and left us. Do you hate him?'

Kassandra wanted to tell her no. She thought about all those times she spent with Sirius. The good times they had together, laughing and smiling and being with each other and just how comfortable they were, but instead she said, 'I don't know. Sometimes I do, but then I look at you and I don't hate him so much. He gave me you and I can't hate him for that.'

Arabella gave her a single nod before putting her head on her hands. Her shoulders were shaking and Kassandra hugs her close.

'Everything's going to be fine,' Kassandra whispered. 'I promise you. Everything is going to be fine.'

They sit there for a while. Arabella sits on her lap while Kassandra rocks her back and forth, soothing her hair. People fill into their cars, glancing at them, but Kassandra gives them a look and they are left alone.

'You wanna go home?' Kassandra asks quietly.

Arabella nods against Kassandra's chest and they get in the car. Arabella's head leans against the window as she picks the car belt.

They reach the house and Kassandra turns to Arabella. 'Come here.' She hugs her daughter close and kisses the top of her head. 'I love you so much. I'm sorry if I cause you any pain. I wish I could take it back and make everything better.'

'It's fine, Mum,' mumbled Arabella. 'You can let go of me now.'

'Few more minutes,' said Kassandra, hugging Arabella closer.

Arabella sighed and relaxed against Kassandra's chest. After a few seconds, Kassandra kissed Arabella's cheek and continued to do so. She kissed her cheeks, her forehead, her nose and her chin until Arabella finally let out a small laugh.

'Mum, stop,' said Arabella, pushing Kassandra away a little.

'Okay, okay, I get it,' conceded Kassandra, cupping Arabella's left cheek. 'I love you.' One last kiss on the cheek. 'Go inside and get some dinner.'

Arabella left the car and Kassandra followed her inside slowly. The Quidditch equipment are left in the car, forgotten.

Hope and Remus are in the kitchen, putting dinner together. They are a duo when it comes to cooking. They work well with each other in sync and Kassandra sees it. She sees how Arabella can hate them and their relationship, their bond. They have something Arabella doesn't. She's the odd person out.

It was the same thing she felt with Abel and Arabella, and Kassandra hoped that she wasn't making the same mistakes her mother made. She didn't want her family to turn out like that. The uneasiness and hatred filled the house with bonds that can never be mended or fixed.

But then Remus looks up at them, smiling and Arabella hugs him close, squeezing his shoulders. She mumbles something to him and he quickly hugs back, whispering something to her. Kassandra sees Arabella smiling and letting out a shaky laugh.

She watches this and knows that she is not her mother. That this house is filled with love and how Arabella would protect Hope with her life and how Hope looks up to her older sister. It doesn't matter if Sirius fathered Arabella because her dad, the person she goes to if she has a nightmare or a problem is Remus. He took care of her, looked after her, and she is just as much his daughter as Hope is.

Hope then declares that dinner is ready, her voice filled with pride and they all sit down. They make jokes during dinner, Hope more than anyone. She can always sense if Arabella is unhappy and Kassandra's heart swells with pride when Hope brightens Arabella up with her joke about the Bats (Remus bits back a retort when Arabella laughs).

'What did you tell her?' Kassandra asks Remus later that night. They put the girls to bed. Hope was sleeping with Arabella that night and Kassandra was sure they were staying up right now, gossiping about something or another. Most likely about the neighbourhood boy Hope has a crush on.

'Nothing much,' said Remus, shrugging as he began to wash the dishes while Kassandra dried them. 'Just reminding her that she is not defined by her roots but by her actions and her words. And that she's the best player on the team.'

Kassandra let out a dry laugh. 'Don't need to inflate her ego, Remus.'

Remus shrugged. 'Just telling her the truth.'

Kassandra smiled at him. 'You're a good father, Remus.'

Remus looked at her. He smiled and then turned back to the plate in his hand.

The next morning, Arabella comes to her and tells her that she's going to quit the team.

'What?' asked Kassandra, staring at Arabella. 'Why?'

'Things are not going to get easier,' said Arabella. 'They barely trust me and after yesterday... it's better if I don't play with the team anymore. Things are not going to get easier after yesterday.'

Kassandra agrees and accepts this. The coach doesn't though and is sad to see her go, but Arabella is happier on the way back home. It seems as though a weight was lifted off her shoulders and Kassandra breaths easier knowing that Arabella is going to be just fine.

* * *

><p>She doesn't explain to Arabella where her name comes from or why Kassandra wakes up screaming for her because she's not. She's screaming for her sister and lies to her daughter. She doesn't want to add more to Arabella's messy plate, so she lies and hope that everything goes away and that she would never have to tell her just how messed up she was when she was younger, wanting revenge and hating the world.<p>

Remus agrees with her, not wanting to re-open the past and explain who he was back then or just how his old wounds never quite healed.

So they pretend nothing's wrong, but Kassandra always feels as though she's betraying her sister's memory whenever she looks at her daughters.

* * *

><p>Years go by. They girls are in school and they keep themselves busy with Quidditch, and they're happy. They've worked hard to be happy, all of them, and they deserve it.<p>

The girls grow up looking like her. Arabella has similarities to Sirius. She has his eyes and his temperament every once in a while. She does before she thinks and has a short fuse. She prefers action compared to words. She has his smile and his laugh and Kassandra has to remind herself that Sirius us not in the house and that it's Arabella, her daughter, _their _daughter, not him.

Hope is more or less the same. She looks more like Kassandra than Remus and has the same eyes as him. She's sweet and kind and loving and Kassandra wonders how Hope came from her because she's perfect and she is thankful with how she turned out.

They sit at the table together and Kassandra is thankful that they take after her in looks because she doesn't need a physical reminder of the choices she has made in her life. She already feels it whenever her fingers brush over her wedding ring that hangs around her neck.

* * *

><p><em>We'll try to document this light,<em>

_With cameras to our eyes,_

_In an effort to remember_

_What being mended feels like. _

_We're home sweet home_

**Thank you for reading! Tell me, should I continue with this AU? It shouldn't be too long. I'm planning about 3-5 chapters, if everything goes according to plan. Tell me what you think! **


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